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How to Self Soothe For Adults

What do Janis Joplin and myself have in common? 

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I’m a colossal crybaby. It’s true I don’t try to run from it anymore. I embrace it because crying and emotions arent going anywhere. As I’ve gotten older, I realized that I was so emotional because I never learned to self-soothe. Which in a nutshell is how to self-regulate your emotions. Learning how to self-soothe was a long and winding path. I’ve gotten a lot of really bad advice and tried the things I saw other people doing to unwind with very temporary results.

What is self-soothing?

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If you look up self-soothing a bunch of mommy blogs pop up and they all describe a stage in infancy when a baby can fall asleep on their own without the mother. Growing up you may have heard relatives say “ Let them cry it out they’ll go to sleep”. But as we get older this idea is completely lost once you turn six or seven. Then the language transforms into “how to get rid of anxiety and depression in ( insert age group). ” After this of course the heavy stigma that follows words like depression and anxiety, delay people from getting the help they need. That results in exacerbating their own pain, and or causing them to ignorantly hurt others because they’re blind to their own pain.

 

Why can’t you self-soothe? 

 

The simple answer is that you never learned to self-soothe because no one showed a safe and constructive outlet for your ugly emotions. But the more complicated truth is the ways you learned to soothe yourself were utterly shitty and flawed. These habits led you into maladaptive approaches to “getting rid of stress”. The three most common maladaptive approaches to self-soothing tend to skew towards three norms:

  1. You could be the kind of person who represses their emotions and appears to handle stressful events extremely well but that emotion will rear back at some point worse than how you met it.
  2. Maybe you found something that relieves you temporarily and you flood your senses with that stimulus over and over until before you know it you have an addiction.
  3. The last person is the angry one who never confronts the fear beneath all that rage. They lash out because they want people to feel what they feel which is afraid.

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1. Remove these behaviors

Your emotions can be messy, unattractive, unethical, and not found in truth or reality at times. But, those facts do not diminish the value of said ugly emotions. You have to feel them. Your emotions are not a stomach ache, taking something will not make them go away, and more to your own disappointment it probably won’t even pacify you very long.

You learned to add a sexual encounter, stimulants, alcohol, we dye our hair, eat comfort food, smoke a little weed, watch the entirety of Seinfeld again, try some sketchy pills from Pasadena, and maybe you’ll start to feel better and forget that pain.

I can’t tell you the answer to 3x+1, but I KNOWW that adding by definition does not reduce anything.

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Think about it like organizing the junk drawer in your house. You go to the dollar store get some little containers and set out to organize this drawer.

But the solution could simply be cleaning out the drawer. Do you really need four old phone chargers? Every soy sauce packet you’ve crossed paths with? Suddenly you dont need to go spend five bucks on some containers that only add more junk to the junk drawer.

Emotions can be the same way instead of looking for a cheap fix, go through some of the junk first. Take my caffeine addiction for example.

If I confronted my social anxiety head-on with simple exposure, instead of adding caffeine to pacify myself. I might not be caught in this cycle that I’m STILL working through to this day.

 

2. Consult with a linguistic third party

 

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Your next step is to take all the shit out of the drawer, take your thoughts out of your head. Letting your worst thoughts run free in your head is a recipe for cyclical disaster. It doesn’t really matter how this is approached but the information in your head has to exit. If not it’s rummaging through your body causing random back pain when you get home from work. Transcribing the words in your head to something external gives you perspective. Instead of this constantly flowing chatter of doubt, self-loathing, and despair. You get the opportunity to recognize patterns and stop being debilitated by your anxious mind.

There are 3 approaches to this that work especially well for me they could work for you.

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Tarot– This allows me to follow my thoughts in the presence of completely abstract and random images, if I keep coming up on the theme then that’s something worth investigating. Tarot is the same as flipping a coin sort of, if you flip the coin to make a decision and don’t like the answer you got you at least come to understand your position. Tarot once you understand the meanings of each card offers serendipitous insights to yourself. Tarot actually helped me put my emotions into dialogue. A skill that anyone who has dated a straight male knows is not easy to come by.

 

oh whiskers!

Therapy– There was a lot of baggage and stuff I was hanging on to that left me emotionally stunted. The most important things I learned in therapy has been self compassion and shifted my internal dialogue.

Self-compassion is learning to forgive yourself. In therapy, I discovered that I was having such a hard time with my emotions because I was ashamed to have them in the first place. My environment taught me that emotions were an inconvenience to the group. In an effort to be less inconvenient I just stopped showing up, because I am an emotional person the message I was getting was that I was inconvenient. I didn’t want to burden anyone so I learned to remove myself when I thought I was being too emotional. Self-compassion taught me that I can’t be ashamed of being human. It opened my eyes to the fact that the most inconvenienced person was also being abandoned, myself. When you isolate yourself for being emotional every time you feel something you turn yourself into the first person to invalidate your emotions.

The second thing I learned was language is the expression of reality. How you talk says a lot about your worldview, and your internal speech is even more powerful. There was a lot of unhealthy language I learned to change in therapy.

For instance instead of saying; I have to do this, I’d say, I’m ready to do this.

The first version is isolating, makes me reluctant to ask for help, and is a weight I have to carry until I don’t need to do that thing anymore.

The second version, affirms that I can complete this task I set out to do, it’s more solution-driven instead of something I have to overcome.

To-do list- I’ve mentioned the magic of the to-do list in an earlier post. this last one is supermundane but we were getting a little ethereal with tarot and therapy. But a to-do list is good enough for Nasa and Santa Clause to get things done. Instead of that crap taking up precious space in your head you can just write it down. Then break those things down into smaller actionable steps.  Amazing, my compliments to the chef.

Some other examples of a linguistic third party would journaling, vision board, calling a good friend, emailing yourself, art, singing, poetry, a spam account on Instagram, or a blog.

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3. Self Actualization

 

Another important piece for self-soothing is more the long-term solution to feel a little bit better every day in the long term.  You will constantly be in a less than satisfying state if you are not making a life you are happy to be in. Who do you want to be? When you’re dead and gone what do you want people to say about you? What do you want to leave behind?  Set out and do it. If you are creating the self you want to be, a secure and stable self then there will be fewer instances where you need to self-soothe because you are in an authentically happier state.

The New Hierarchy of Needs — Maslow's lost apex | by Jessi Christian | Medium

Make those investments in yourself because you are worthy of that kind of love and protection.

Take a jog because you love yourself.

Eat something that came from the earth other than corn or soy for the love of god because you respect yourself.

Read a challenging book because you want to understand something.

Learn how to paint, sew, build an awesome island on animal crossing, produce mash-up tracks.

Do the fun things and the hard things because you love yourself because you deserve that much.

Self Actualization is one of the most crucial pieces to adult self-soothing because you cannot be happy if you are living a lie in the first place. Setting achievable goals solely for the enrichment of the self is at times all that we can do. Especially while the world is crumbling in on itself knowing how to deal with the angst that comes with it can’t hurt anyone.

4. Babysitting Yourself.

 

Babysitting GIF - Babysit Babysitting Babysitter - Discover & Share GIFs | Strange things are happening, The incredibles, Babysitter

The grand irony about self-soothing is that self-soothing isn’t like healing, it is more like maintenance. When you are emotionally mature you learn that you will inevitably be very uncomfortable, you’ll be sad, feel pushed aside, you’ll feel like hitting someone. Self-soothing is the observation of oneself in the face of adversity. To be an adult literally means that you are babysitting yourself. The same way that a parent might let a kid cry it out. You have every right to pout and be furious at times. But self-soothing is simply about being aware enough to do it responsibly, and safely so that you aren’t simultaneously in pain and inflicting pain onto others.

This is why you may need to sit down with a therapist. You are your own child. How would you guide a child through an environment you thought was emotionally safe?

Would it be littered with shallow relationships, consumables that take the edge off, or broken promises?

Probably not. Face yourself, and not to fight anything, but to balance things. Be the adult while your inner child suffers through yet another heartbreaking scenario, watch over your inner child with love and compassion. Use the wisdom you’ve learned through the years and guide little you to safety through a scary night.

 

Conclusion

There are still instances when you can be dumbfounded by all the things you do not understand even at your mature age. When you fall short of the milestones that society says you should have hit by whatever age. Falling into fits of blind rage just like a three-year-old would have a temper tantrum.  Knowing how to live safely in a confusing hostile place is so valuable. The person more invested in your ability to self-soothe is your parent. The one who read all the books, and called their parents on their long nights with their new baby. Self-soothing is about being kind to the child version of ourselves that is still inside of us. Becoming a parent to yourself as an adult. Congratulations you’re all grown up now and you don’t need your mom anymore to help you self-soothe. Remember that you will inevitably be okay.

Resources:

  1. https://www.childdevelopmentclinic.com.au/self-soothing.html#:~:text=%E2%80%9CSelf%2Dsoothing%E2%80%9D%20refers%20to,adolescent%20as%20calming%20or%20comforting.
  2. https://www.guider-ai.com/blog/the-importance-of-positive-self-talk
  3. https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-actualization.html#ref
  4. https://thedoctorweighsin.com/can-journaling-improve-your-mental-health/
  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyO8pvpnTdE&list=PLFkhU4zQnGMkUsBLRV880JID0ZNyc-fVR&index=6
  6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiEMVA8AIJw&list=PLFkhU4zQnGMkUsBLRV880JID0ZNyc-fVR&index=3
  7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfAAIEncDPo

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The Problem with Conflict

Hey readers! I have to come clean about something. I am a sore loser, I always have been, and my default defense mechanism is to disengage. I don’t know how to play any card games, board games, video games, sports, Wii Sports. You get it. I hate losing so much I never played any games because the risk of losing was so humiliating to me. I like to win, and if I cannot win or guarantee a win, I just don’t play. This behavior has trickled into other areas of my life. No nine year old was better at brooding than me. But ultimately, I have learned as I get older that this is self-sabotage and an all-out shitty way to be living. It’s self-sabotage because you cannot learn anything if you don’t get hit in the nose once or twice. You have to be challenged, and that’s whats games, conflict, and losing are best at teaching, better than winning. So can somebody please teach me to play Uno? It sounds fun.

Disengage. Repeat, disengage!

Jokes aside, this isn’t about winning or losing, at least not directly. This is about conflict. There are big payouts to engaging with conflict and sticking around for that sweet conflict resolution. I know what you’re thinking. “I’m tired of conflict.” We all see conflicts twenty-four hours a day, and it’s exhausting. It’s in our homes, our screens, our world, and even our bodies. But these battles, so to speak, aren’t going to get better if we are apathetic or ignorant. This isn’t about saying, “you aren’t trying hard enough.” This is simply a guide to introduce a different perspective on dealing with these conflicts that are everywhere.

N64 ASCII Pad Controller Clear PinkImage result for nintendo 64 controller

Going forward, anytime I reference player one, I’m talking about you, and player two is your opponent.

 

Unnecessary Conflict

As always, sift through the bull. Not all conflicts should be engaged in.

Unnecessary conflict usually starts out as a bid for chaos, sometimes called a bid for war. A bid for chaos is an attempt from Player two to elevate player one’s irritation, and so that player one initiates conflict and player two gets what they want, which is chaos. Bids for chaos come in so many fashions, to name a few:

  • emotionally charged clickbait
  • an angry driver honking
  • an ex viewing your Instagram story
  • a backhanded compliment
  • passive-aggressive behavior
  • provocative or offensive imagery

The easiest way to deal with bids for chaos is not to engage especially if the problem is a task conflict, people arguing the best way to do something. But if this is a relationship conflict, it really depends on if you value that relationship. The ex viewing your story, don’t engage. The petty coworker with a backhanded compliment DO NOT engage. But, if this is someone like your wife or your husband, and you aren’t talking about your problems, making little remarks, only the two of you understand to irritate the other. Escalation is the only way out.

Image result for gif dont be petty

Sweeping it under the rug is going to solve not arguing. But not arguing doesn’t mean there’s not a problem. You have to argue to understand each other. Don’t confuse task conflict and relationship conflict within your relationship. You and your partner disagree on the frequency the carpet should be vacuumed does not mean that you two are bad matches for one another. Its just means that you disagree on the best way to do things. When partners don’t communicate any kind of conflict with each other, it makes task conflict, and relationship conflict bleeds into each other until the couple is forced apart. This can apply to any relationship dynamic, not just romantic.

 

 

 Necessary Conflict

Damn, so sometimes we do face conflict. Let’s solve it with game theory to see why it’s not wise to approach issues being totally rational. Game theory is a mathematical theory for rational decision-making. Game theory has been appearing in pop culture a lot. But it usually looks like repetitious tit for tat behavior where both opponents anticipate the move the other simultaneously. Basically, that is game theory. It’s a little more complicated than that for any wise guys in my audience, but lol that’s the gist.

For necessary conflict, decide what kind of game you are playing. Are you playing an Imperfect information game or a perfect information game?

Imperfect information Games

Billions season 4 - air date, stream, plot, cast, TV channel, trailer |  Radio Times

The TV show Billions would be an imperfect information game or a game like Poker. No one knows for certain what their opponent has up their sleeve. The best way to finesse the game is to bluff. But bluff with insurance. For example, remember when the teacher was yammering on about the Cuban missile crisis in history class. America was in the cold war with Russia. Russia deployed missiles to Cuba after the USA deployed missiles to Italy and Turkey.  Secretary of State Dean Rusk says, “we’re eyeball to eyeball, and I think the other fellow just blinked.” This wasn’t good because the USA was on a hair-trigger for 13 days, like are we really about to start a nuclear war? The USA and the Soviet Union found themselves in the prisoner’s dilemma. The Prisoner’s dilemma means that to assume player two won’t escalate is your demise. It’s kind of like everybody dies if we don’t de-escalate. De-escalating is exactly how they solved it. Russia and the USA agreed to dismantle and remove their missiles.

If you are playing an imperfect Information game, you are playing for leverage through means of deception and insurance in hopes that player two cooperates. In day to day life, this can get really messy very fast. For short-term negotiating, it’s better, but in the long run, it’s dangerous.

 

Perfect Information Game

Image result for queens gambit
The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix follows a female Chess genius. Chess is a perfect information game.

Board Games like Chess, Checkers, Go, and Tic Tac Toe are perfect information games because everyone understands what is happening on the board. You win with accuracy and skill; there’s no bluff, just strategy. A real-world example would be you and a neighbor feuding for street parking—first, your double park for a while. Then your neighbor takes the spot immediately after street sweeping and coordinates with members of their household to hold the parking spot with another car. You then go to the city for a handicap spot on your street. You’ve won because you have a handicap placard in your car window. The only way your neighbor can enter the game again is if they produce a handicapped placard to start parking in the spot.

 

The Territory Where Game Theory Fails

Image result for this is a bad idea gifGame Theory works in getting the highest favorable outcome for player one when player two cooperates. This is a dangerous game where someone may literally get hurt over a parking spot if that never happens. Conflict is a dance, not a conquest. Conflict initiates a dialogue between you and player two to find a better way to accomplish something in order to harmoniously coexist. Approaching all conflicts as zero-sum games focuses on being right and not resolving conflict. Conflict is a chance to collaborate. Opening up space, not to find a middle ground because often it doesn’t exist unless you minimize the feelings and desires of somebody else. But by creating something totally new. A new way to solve tasks without destroying relationships. Game theory removes the nuance in human experience. There is no simple solution. Having a winner take all approach to every conflict you face is a breeding ground for paranoid rulers. A perfect example is co-parents whose romantic relationship has gone away, but their child who needs both of them is still there. Co-parents have to create a new relationship with new codes to solve the task of raising a little one.  When you are faced with conflicts try not to be a competitor, try to be a co-parent.

What good co-parents are gonna do according to http://divorcemag

  • Forgive honest mistakes
  • Compromise
  • Apologize when necessary
  • Don’t make it personal.
  • Don’t bring up the past

Inner Conflict

What about when there is no player two. It’s you versus yourself? How do you solve those problems?

There is but one way. You have to believe that incremental progress is still progress. Your healing is not a zero-sum game. Healing the conflicts in ourselves is ongoing because the only true completeness our lives will ever meet is death. Our catharsis relies on the steady alchemy of patience and effort at the delicate art of improving oneself. It’s never going to be over. So, in the beginning, I mentioned that I’m a sore loser. What I didn’t tell you is that I grew up socially stunted, to say the least. I had trouble making friends and didn’t understand different social cues that were natural to my peers. So being in a team was exhausting, and playing a game with other kids could wipe me out. But I’m learning to close the gap.

I’m honest with myself when I simply don’t enjoy someone’s company.

I’m honest with others when I need a break from a social setting.

I forgive myself when I’m not perfect.

and I play Roblox when my little cousin facetimes me.

Image result for am i toxic gif

None of this is easy, and I don’t always try. Other days I may just watch. That’s important too. My goal is simply to move the dial forward toward who I want to be. Another thing is I only start to feel better when I move. “Mind over matter” isn’t my mantra; instead, it’s “Mood follows Motion”. I know all the things in the world to solve an inner conflict. Knowing something and acting on that something doesn’t always happen. Hello, cognitive dissonance.

 

Conclusion

The world hoomans are creating is extremely polarized. Our hyperconnectedness only further bloats people’s sense of tribalism. The planet is facing huge problems that need new solutions. Conflict is a dialogue and less about the good or bad guys. Be brave enough to talk over task conflicts without destroying relationships. Disagreeing with someone shouldn’t stop progress. Be brave enough to continue working on problems you see even when others don’t understand them or flat out refuse to admit they exist. When they start to come around, foster forgiveness. You dont have to invite them into your life. Forgiving people just makes it easier to move on so that you can put more energy into the things that add substance to your life. Conflict is an inevitable part of life. There is so much strength in the person who tames the beast vs. the one who conquers it.

Image result for the stregth card

 

 

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No Good Horror Movie is Made Without Empathy

The primary ingredients in a hamburger are beef, lettuce, onion, pickles, and tomato. Then there is cheese, not primary but optional. But cheese feels a lot more a part of the burger than it did at the beginning of the 20th century. Horror Movies and Hamburgers came into the world at around the same time. Yes, so while Edison was launching the lightbulb someone invented the hamburger, and the short film “The House of the Devil” became the first horror movie ever in 1896. But the cheese of horror films that make for an exceptionally decadent film is Empathy. 

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Talk about turn-of-the-century hamburgers and horror movies? The world was indeed changing.
le manoir du diable | Tumblr
The film was silent, 17 minutes long, french, and bizarre… lol

 

 There are spoilers up ahead 🙂

 

Today’s world continues to remind us how connected we all are, how much access we have to information, and how regular people are capable of more visibility than history has ever seen. No doubt the rise of the internet and social media have muted empathy. Social media is one of the most divisive instruments on the planet. Propelling the polarized us v. them narrative into our identities, communities, and national politics. With the high potential for attention that an individual may be able to receive from their social media following. Most people try to put their best foot forward. Showcasing usually very picturesque and fictitious versions of their lives. This can make it seem like everyone is doing better than you when you are unhappy and dealing with hard times. Restoring empathy is key to the survival of Humanity. Being any sort of victim on social media is usually dismissed by peers. Further isolating people to suffer longer, more quietly, and all the while feigning an image of happiness. Social media has given birth to the oxymoron “toxic positivity”.

 

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Honestly social media can be very challenging and annoying.

 

The Interesting Role Horror Movies are Playing in All This:

The horror movie genre adapting to a special role of putting empathy at the forefront of media because in times like these it needs the extra attention. You have to suffer yourself before you can realize that other people suffer. Horror movies are shedding the light on the real tragedies marginalized groups face by using horror movies to disguise their depth. This is the primary step to emotional maturity, and empathizing with marginalized groups, not sympathizing. If you’re a film buff or just a prenty snob like myself. You’ve heard the term ‘Social Thriller’ floating around the name of Jordan Peele since his 2017 release of “Get out” with Racial Tensions at a new high and the remaining shock of the 2016 election the film was adored by critics and audiences alike. Get Out is a horror film about benevolent racism. It's spine-chilling. - Vox

 

Empathy for Black People In America: 

 In 2017 racial tensions were going back to old extremes as they were in the 1960s. The Black Lives Matter movement was leading the conversation about gun violence in America. In 2020, these protests exploded across the nation following the murder of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd at the hands of law enforcement. Black people in America are being invalidated by the media with myths of “Black on Black Crime”, Donald Trump saying that kneeling during the National Anthem makes you an SOB, and the list goes on. This film could not have been timed better. Made people understand how alienated a black body can feel in white environments. Even when everything seems completely fine. You are still just a visitor. 

Get Out Ending Explained: Let's Discuss Its Brilliance | Collider

Indian-American doctors outraged at Floyd's death, racial discrimination in the US - The Economic Times

Racist Americans, Not Trump, Are The Problem. There Might Be A Cure | Cognoscenti

Jordan Peele’s 2017 get out is about a young couple going on a trip to meet the woman’s family. The woman is white and the man is black(Chris). At the beginning of the movie, the white characters try to reassure Chris of his safety with comments like “If I could vote for Obama a third term I would”. Quickly, the movie reveals that Chris is being groomed to have his physical body sold to a blind white man who is paralyzed from the waist down. His girlfriend’s family has mastered planting the consciousness of one human into another. His girlfriend was in on it the whole time. He must escape his kidnappers. The film addressed the fear that Black people experience in any homogenous setting with their white counterparts. Themes like the “sunken place” In the film examine how racial identity is so integral to the human experience. How letting white people get inside of your head can be the very death of your identity as a whole and as a black person.  

Get Out and Scientific Racism | Horror Movie | Horror Homeroom

Racism is a societal construct, not a biological one
Phrenology – now a long debunk pseudo-science was used to argue that black people were primitive and less evolved than white people from apes
All the symbolism in the painting of Henrietta Lacks in the National Portrait Gallery — Quartz
Portrait of Henrietta Lacks the African American woman whose cancer cells were used unwittingly to become the first immortal line of human cells

 

Race gaps in SAT scores highlight inequality and hinder upward mobility

Stand and Deliver | Lincoln Theatre
Latinx people often face similar discrimination as black people with regard to their intellectual capacity.

Empathy for Abused Women:

 

Following the #METOO movement where women came out to tell their stories of sexual assault, there was an outpouring of no longer silent victims. Harvey Weinstein was tried for his sexual abuse against dozens of young girls, Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Epstein, and so many more have been dragged into the spotlight and then through the mud for their unacceptable behavior. 

Elisabeth Moss's Performance Powers 'The Invisible Man' - The Atlantic
Cecilia in the shower while her abuser watches
the invisible man 2020 | Tumblr
The invisible man suit

In the Film “The Invisible Man” Woman Cecilia leaves her abusive boyfriend Adrian. Adrian is an optics genius and leader in the field. After she leaves, Adrian seemingly attempts suicide, and Cecilia begins being attacked physically by an Invisible Force. She’s the only one who knows this force is there. She tries to expose it over and over. But it hurts her friend and kills her other friend at her expense. She eventually is placed in a mental hospital while awaiting trial for a murder she’s been framed for. But by the end, she gets out of the hospital, discovers she is pregnant, kills the invisible man, and her abusive ex-boyfriend. This movie is a perfect allegory for how women so often have to Prove that their abuser exists. They have to prove that they aren’t crazy, making things up and outsmart their own perpetrator along with the biases of society to get justice. In an ongoing argument. Rapper Meg The Stallion was a victim of a shooting incident with Rapper Tory Lanez, she had to prove that she was shot by him. The situation spread like wildfire on the internet… Although in helicopter footage you can see The superstar Meg leave bloody footprints while complying with Law enforcement, There are hospital records stating that she had a gunshot wound in her foot, and a witness. Meg The Stallion is still defending herself.  In The Invisible Man Cecilia kills her ex-boyfriend for revenge. This is important because society needs to see men and particularly men in power like Celia’s wealthy boyfriend, have consequences for their abuse towards women. 

megan thee stallion | Tumblr
Meg Thee Stallons SNL performance following the incident with Tory Lanez … She echos a much-needed message believe women, protect black women, defend black women
MeToo founder Tarana Burke has big plans for the movement in 2018
Founder Tarana Burke of the #METOO movement

Empathy for Poor People: 

Parasite' and the Curse of Closeness - The Atlantic
The poor Kim family
Bong Joon-Ho on Why All His Films are Monster Movies, Including 'Parasite'
The wealthy Park family

In 2019 South Korean film director Bong Joon Ho shook the world with his theatrical release of the movie Parasite. The film took home two Oscars and dazzled western audiences. The plot takes place in Seoul Korea where a poor Kim Family lives in a tiny sub-underground apartment. The family struggles to make ends meet and work folding pizza boxes. The son gets a job tutoring the wealthy park family’s daughter.  One by one each member of the Kim family works as a servant for a member of the Park family without revealing that they are all related. To do this, they lie, get the existing maid fired, and even get into physical fights to keep their status under the family. In the movie we see the Park family live in an elevated part of the city to signal their status in regards to money. Same for the Kim families with their half below the ground apartment.  Making their circumstances appear better than reality because they are not completely underground. When the Park family goes away for the weekend for camping the Kim family goes on vacation in the Park household. They revel in their ability to fool the Parks. Until the Parks return home early because of the Bad weather. The Park family is completely unscathed by the rain. However, for the Kim family, their apartment is completely flooded leaving the family displaced, most of their belongings are unsalvageable, and the family sleeps in a shelter for the night. Both families are detached from reality. The wealthy park family is completely unaware of the ways they have been and are presently being exploited by people every day. They are too insulated by their wealth to notice. While, the poor Kim family lives in the fantasy that they can escape their station in life, and rise to wealth.

 

 

This movie is a response to the division of social classes by wealth. Both groups live in their own perception of reality. Often neither one being more accurate or closer to the truth. Developed nations have been seeing a fast-disappearing middle class. There have been several shows on TV and film responding to this issue. 

Mr. Robot: Season 2 - YouTube
Mr. Robot on USA follows a computer hacker’s exploits to delete all the nation’s records of debt.
Jordan Peele Explains The 'We're Americans' Line In Us | Movies | Empire
Jordan Peele’s film “Us” has the same theme as Parasite Bong Joon even commented that he was taken aback by the similarity.

The movie Parasite did so well in the western market because it’s a very relevant story reflecting people’s attitudes towards money and status. Much like the desperation of Walter White in Breaking Bad which, aired while America was going through the 2008 recession. Moreover, Parasite shows us that these families are more alike than their indications of social status can ever suggest.

Conclusion:

There are monsters in this world. We can be told its in the past, it’s completely imagined, or we turn a blind eye to how we contribute to our own misfortune and our responsibility to help others. Invalidating and denying the experiences force the victims to heal too quickly, or never heal at all. The most fundamental theme in horror is empathy. You must know what they feel to be afraid. Opening our eyes to see that other people suffer the way that we do. Enjoy this Halloween. Remember somebody else has faced the same monsters as you.

Torture Crying GIF by A24 - Find & Share on GIPHY
Clip from Midsommer … one of the themes is fear of empathy…
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A Guide to Preapocalyptic Angst

About two years ago, I fell into a love affair with the western philosophy of stoicism. Stoicism is the philosophy of not caring about things that you have no control over. When I read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor who reigned from 161 AD to 180 AD, it felt like… I had this cheat sheet to master my emotions, my desires. It goes like this, Everything outside of your physical being is none of your business, and be intentional about your being. For example, what someone thinks of you, your possessions, luxuries you can afford, the station you were born into; are all relative, you do not control these circumstances so the sooner you realize it’s a waste of time you can be cured of myopia that so many people fall victim to. Your thoughts, your actions, how you tend your body, those are the things you control, the things that bring your peace or your demise.

Marcus Aurelius | UNRV.com Roman History

A quote of his goes, “Death smiles at all of us and all men can do is smile back.” 

Our Planet

Our world is very quickly appearing to unravel at the seams. But, when you live side by side with a dying planet as your dying human flesh. It becomes more apparent that life has no meaning. So what do you do? Do you give up early? Do you give in to circumstance? 

Defiantly continue… Continue to eat things simply because they taste good, continue to pursue challenging obstacles for the joy of mastery, and above all else create things to be enjoyed by yourself and others. Defiantly seek out pleasure in the wake of your peril.

Person Z was born on January 1st, 1999 in the USA. Here’s a timeline of traumatizing events they can expect to see on television and in the media over the course of their childhood.

Four months Columbine High School Massacre
Age One September 11 Attacks
Age Two The United States declares war with Afghanistan
Age Six Hurricane Katrina
Age Nine  Housing Crisis and Financial Collapse of 2008
Age Ten  Swine Flu Outbreak
Age Eleven 7.0 Earthquake in Haiti
Deepwater Horizon Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico
Age Thirteen Murder Of Travon Martin
Age Fourteen Edward Snowden wiki leaks
Boston Marathon Bombing
Age Fifteen  Ebola Outbreak
Flint Michigan Water Crisis (Ongoing to the present)
Age Seventeen 2016 Election, Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States

 

To a member of an older generation, it can seem, bleak. Some of them remember the Moon Landing in 1969 on television. Older generations shared this human milestone. While present generation strives to “Occupy Mars” in an effort to escape our home planet. All that person Z knows is chaos, it’s easy to conflate chaos with existence. But things were simpler than this. Generation Z did not grow up only to be disillusioned that the world was far worse than what they were promised the way their predecessors, Millennials learned. Things were always chaos, Generation Z expected chaos, and has the attitude to tear down systems that are failing. 

It felt right to have this here. 🙂

It’s frustrating and philosophy’s only question is so poignant because of the mess that humans have made of things, Is this life worth living? 

More than ever humans have a responsibility to pursue personal development and satisfaction because that is all that humanity has left. Continue till it’s over until all of it is over and no point sooner. People who are aware of their death are happier because they offer themselves to great actions purposefully.

Consume: 

Eat great food. Listen to the music you love no matter what the critics say. Gaze at fine art and discover that most of it is just pomp, and overrated. Watch films in languages you don’t speak yet, and empathize with stories from different corners of the world. Read strange books, dense books, cliche books, Wattpad mini novels. Play video games, buy furniture. Health gurus take the fun out of everything; cheesecake is an experience in the mouth, savor it.

Conquer: 

Learn a new skill. Cook a new dish. Work hard to be a world-class musician. Or be a serial hobbyist looking for your next project. Get your degree or a few microcreditionals on Coursera/Udemy. Face your fear of heights, your fear of abandonment, and all the other little things. 

Create: 

Make art. Get your body tattooed and pierced in all the places you like. Write even when no one reads it. Sing in the shower, in the car, beneath your mask in the grocery store. Distress your jeans, make a video collage for your fan account.

Repeat…

While “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”. Our lives and deaths are so small humans don’t quite measure as anything. Everything you are will someday be smothered away in the oblivion of energy melding into perhaps nothing after this one life. You can sit around wallowing in the misery of your imminent death and the following apocalypse. The moment you stop living with intention you are living like an animal. To the fantastic monkeys who are self aware, and can communicate that with the other monkeys with their brilliant toy of language. Enjoy all that you can while it can be enjoyed. 

“We do not know where death awaits us. So let us wait for it everywhere.”- Montaigne

You are the sum of words, actions, and intentions. That is all.

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Artificial Ethics

Pandora’s Box is the Greek legend of a woman who Zeus endows with the gift of curiosity and a box. The box drove her crazy, as she was not by any circumstance allowed to open it. It would drive anyone crazy, especially the individual with the “gift of curiosity”. This is the ancient Greek version of the marshmallow test. Pavlov’s dog, I mean Pandora becomes so fed up with the mystery, she opens the box. Then, a bunch of demons, ghouls, and other unsavories fly out from their prison which was the box. The story is reduced to the idea of, “that seemingly great gift is also hiding a curse”. Pandora’s Box is too often sitting on Silicon Valleys’ front porch. Where those big conglomerates Google, Amazon, and Facebook sit and play with the trajectory of humanity’s future. More recently the possibility of technological singularity is not so far-fetched. 

Technological singularity basically is the entire plot of the Terminator. Technology advances so rapidly that humans can do nothing to influence the changes in their society.

Ai has rapidly progressed in the last four years alone. But before that, in 1997 Alpha Zero aka DeepBlue The IBM supercomputer beat Gary Kasparov grandmaster at a game of chess. The only knowledge that the deep mind software data was given were the general rules of chess. Then, went on to teach itself through thousands of rounds of trial and error. How to play and win against the greatest living player. But skeptics said if a computer can beat the world’s best Go player then AI has credible potential. In march 2016 AI was put to the test. Ai did just that and the program AlphaGo won ⅔ rounds against Lee SeDol, the best player in the world. Why was this feat alone enough to convince skeptics? Go is a popular board game in East Asia played by all ages. The difference between go and chess is that let’s say both games make fifty moves between two players. The chess game only has 25 possible outcomes remaining, while Go has 300 possible outcomes remaining. That’s the big deal. If Ai can be taught to play a game as complex and abstract as go then AI should be taught another thing ethics and empathy.

The bois are stressed… (Lee Sedol top image Vs AlphaGo in March 2016- Garry Kasparov bottom image Vs DeepBlue in May 1997)

AI is the future. Every day we have further entangled in the web of self-taught Artificial intelligence. The problem with AI is that it only reflects our goals and not our morality. For instance, AI and advertising are in this love affair. Ai is groomed to find the people most likely to buy this unique trinket, and figures out that ages 12-16, females, who play softball, living in the valleys of California… would be its most lucrative market… Then the AI sends advertisements to that group and follows the trinket’s most probable consumers all over the internet. Fine, that’s great! But what happens when you get ads for baby clothes before you realize you’re expecting, which is the case for the high school girl in 2012. You’re at the point of relapsing on drugs and you see an ad for a nightclub, one of those halls of temptation you do your best to avoid. Article intelligence chases the result, “ this kind of person is 92% likely to be 83% responsive.”. The software is learning to follow these cues in the individual to make a sale. That is the danger. Ai is only aware of the result, not the ethics. Ai is built to be a solver, foreboding the day AI figures out that humans are the problem. Technological singularity is inevitable, but what if when AI arrived at that feat it was already self-governing itself with artificial ethics?

We can bet on Ai improving and inheriting more human problems to solve. Alongside Ai are some other fast-developing technologies. Crispr is the gene editor technology. It functions by recognizing the pattern of the “blue-eyed gene” in a DNA chain and weeding out the “brown-eye gene” so that the offspring will have blue eyes. This could be the link to eradicate the hereditary disease. It could also be the link to a potential class war between the “new school babies” that have no imperfections thanks to Crispr. With the “old school babies” that are riddled with mutations completely at random. Then, there’s facial recognition which to be dramatic is likely the death of all anonymity. There’s the Russian ‘Find Face’ app… take a picture of someone and the software attempts to find said individual via their social media presence. Yandex is another platform where you can type in a name and retrieve a face. Thank you, computer scientists. So now that technology can identify you by name and face, weed out unwanted genetics, and know your personality well enough to send you ads for the newest flavor of Oreos. We should be protecting ourselves. Remember we usually volunteer this information. We give our DNA to 23&me, our face to Facebook, and reveal our personalities through distinct behavior to the internet at large.

 

 

Legislation has been arduously slow AS USUAL on deciding the lengths these technologies can go as they change our lives every day starting five years ago. But the government is tasked with many other very complicated issues. Like whether or not humans should be charged up the ass to have a baby in a hospital. The government, however, likes to be vague on these issues regarding privacy. So that in the event of guarding national security they do not have to deal with the bureaucracy of protecting one of our fundamental rights as a people. Privacy.

This man will tell you the government will snoop all they want.

It’s not likely they (Our wise Governments) will be the ones to solve this issue. Circling all the way back to Artificial Intelligence and its great motivator being results. Binary code is composed entirely of zeros and ones, fire or don’t fire. It would not be so challenging to teach a computer how to feel and protect us from ourselves. Computer scientists will continue tinker with one can of worms after another. Perhaps teaching technology particularly Seed Ai how to be compassionate, ethical, and empathetic. Will make the day that humans hand over all our processes to robots extremely benevolent than ever imagined. Computers will be able to understand our morals and protect us from our ambitions. There is hope that computers may govern life on earth outside the reaches of human capability to finally grant humanity a Utopia.

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Rise Of Improvement Behavior Fads

The Kardashians tell Instagram that a gluten-free diet is the way to go. Then, everyone uniformly has some doubt they need to work through. Beyonce tells everyone to go vegan for a month, still, there’s some skepticism. Gwenith Paltrow is an advocate for intermittent fasting, using some 5-day regimen, and she is greeted with the same hesitation. These diet fads are easy to spot. They make a lot of promises, the same type of people promote them, and they are backed by a cult-like group with very vague scientific reasoning being preached. But for some reason, the male YouTuber, in a gray T-shirt, in his late 20’s telling you that this “blue pill” is going to fix your life has all the credibility in the world. Improvement behavior fads are on the rise as our society places a growing emphasis on “hard work’, “hustling”, and “grinding.”  Some of these improvement behaviors are worthwhile, and others are very, very stupid. 

Wake up earlier

My love, it’s grind AM or 4 AM.

“WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING”

This is true sleep is an inconvenient obstacle when it comes to accomplishing tasks. However, being productive and being busy are very different things. Suppose you’re going to lose sleep over something. My advice is that it better be worth it. Why are you awake? Is the time your spending here right now worth it in the next five years? Is the sacrifice of your health going to pay you back? If you are not sleeping, I hope you have a very detailed planner and calendar. You will 1000% need it to help manage your time because you want more of it. Sleep is an investment. If the goal is worth it because I’m no hypocrite. I say take the long night. I’ll caution you that not sleeping is not making you better at your craft. You are making yourself better. Sleep is precious for reasons that science barely understands. While not sleeping is a mark of poor hygiene. Tread lightly. Take a nap after that all-nighter. You are only human. Please get some rest. 

 

 

Cold Showers

Speaking of hygiene. Cold showers are another fad that is supposed to improve discipline. Mr. Martyrdom can torture himself every morning to be the most productive person ever. But I just don’t see the point (my anemic friends hear me). The point, according to Mr. Youtube Guru, is to desensitize yourself to harshness. When you get in the water it’s cold and unpleasant but after a while you begin to get comfortable, learning to endure it. This practice is a reminder for the rest of the day, at the start of the day that nothing is as hard as the initial shock. If you do encounter something initially uncomfortable you have the discipline to endure it until the job is finished. This one much like dopamine fasting is based on reasonable logic. But that does not mean it makes sense or much less is actually effective. Fine, Mr. Martyrdom wants to torture himself every morning. Do not mess with my showers. My problem with this is that it’s over the top. Like how committed are you to your goals? “Do this arbitrary and mild torture to prove yourself, now you’re the dragon warrior.” There are too many maybes surrounding cold showers making it unable to hold water as anything but a fad.

Dopamine fasting

Our world is more and more, being constructed to give us what we want and make us comfortable. Dopamine is a hormone in the brain that is released when you enjoy anything. Dopamine fasting is preventing yourself from doing anything extremely stimulating to “reset” your dopamine receptors in the brain. According to sponsors of the technique, you do this by purposefully making yourself bored. So that when you need to do a task a little more challenging you’ll have the attention span to engage with it because it will appear more stimulating than it is challenging. There is no science to support this trick. No clinical trials. Nada. It does however sound rational but simply being bored for a day isn’t going to alter the hormones in your brain so much to “reset them”. This fad can be summed up as taking a break from overindulgent activities every so often. Everything in moderation. Except it’s just…

Really 

F******
StOOOOOpId

How to spot a fad:

These trends keep showing up. It can be hard to discern what’s useful and what’s unnecessary. The easiest way to spot a fad for improvement behaviors is that it promises way too much. It reminds you of the movie Lucy or Limitless. Just take this little pill, and now you’re fluent in Cantonese. Another sign is that there is no science. No group trials, just individual testimonials saying that this action is going to “improve everything.” Finally, it’s not working. You tried the cold shower, the silly dopamine fast, and not sleeping to no avail. You were still unproductive or unmotivated by some standard. So what actually works?

Meditation

Dopamine fAsTiNg wishes it was meditation. Meditation has been backed by numerous scientific studies since the ’00s. Then, it’s been in practice for centuries before that (3500-5000 BCE). Meditation teaches the practitioner to let the mind be, whatever it wants to be. To wander and be in the moment, focus on the inhale and the exhale. Is magical stuff okay? So there’s a lot of stuff in today’s world begging for our attention. Our phone is constantly chirping to tell you that some non-emergency is going on. Meditation is about grounding yourself in the moment. Meditation is very hard to do. It’s not easy to just be. But like anything just keep trying at it, failing at it, and trying again. The rewards are there. Which feels a lot better than a cold shower. There are tons of cool resources to help you meditate—the Headspace app, guided meditation albums on streaming services, and so on.

Todo List

Another powerful tool that can actually improve your life is the to-do list. This may come off as a little elementary. But consider this for a moment. It is really easy to have five things that overwhelm you when you do not write them down somewhere. Those same five errands have endless possible outcomes, they are nonlinear, and have this larger-than-life quality because they’re all in your head. Then, when you transfer these tasks onto paper. They become what they really are, just tasks. Something that cannot hold the same dread as before because it’s just a few things you need to get done. Another good thing, is you have a sense of pacing. You can appreciate checking things off a to-do list. It’s harder to appreciate something floating around the abstract constraints of your mind until it’s not. To-do lists are simple but efficient. They actually make you more productive.

If cold showers are working for you, that’s great. None of that changes this extreme militant cult of ambition on the internet is getting really annoying. Not only is the movement self-righteous and arrogant… it preys on people genuinely looking for that breakthrough to make themselves better. A cold shower? Dopamine fast? Never sleeping? There’s a better way to work hard and be more focused on your goals. Start avoiding the nonsense and that’s advice that won’t go out of style.

REST IN POWER GEORGE FLOYD AND BREONNA TAYLOR.

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Spoiled Ambition

Everyone wants to focus on the fruits of their labor and everyone ignores the elephant in the room; When those same ambitions spoil. There is such a thing as being too driven. A lot of successful people for countless reasons will report being so consumed by their goals that they harmed people in their way. They were willing to live and die by their principles. This is something called a martyr complex. A martyr is someone who is willing to suffer persecution when their ideals challenge another group, and they usually do at the hand of said group. Postmodern culture glamorizes this trait so much that the end result does justify the means. There are different ways of course ambition can turn sour. Each one is more dangerous than the last. Before moving forward there will be spoilers for a few movies. We’re square now because I warned you. 

Man v. Self: The Tortured Artist

  Your name is Nina, your story is the movie Black Swan directed by Darren Aronofsky. The prima ballerina in your dance company is being forced to retire. The artistic director is opening a new show for the company, swan lake with a twist. This creates an opportunity for a then-rising star to leave the corps and to be a principal soloist and the face of the company. Nina is one of the most disciplined dancers, her movements are very precise, practiced, and in most views perfect. The artistic director loves that, the principal role is a dual performance. The Black Swan the part of the role Nina does not embody at all. That’s the opposing part of the role that relies on passion, lust, and imperfection. Nina does not know how to dance without being in absolute control. 

For the remainder of the film, Nina very quickly descends into madness. She begins to hallucinate, suffer from illusions of grandeur, jealousy and isolates herself from her mother. In the end, she unwittingly kills herself for perfection. But our tiny dancer is more than poised to die because it was …

Why in god’s name was she okay with dying like that? Her entire life orchestrated to get her to the point of absolute perfection. Why does it feel like our dreams aren’t worth pursuing unless we are the best? Why doesn’t anyone even defend a modest life? Why do we have to give our lives to a single objective and be world-class in those marks? 

Martyrdom is grotesque and archaic. It is the easy way out, to spiral into insanity for a goal. But if Nina kept her sanity she would be a far more impressive dancer than she was the way she died in the story. It is this lack of insight that makes her character dull amidst the dynamic tragedy of her blighted tale. To go on, I love this story Nina is one of my favorite cinema characters. That’s because it’s relatable. Her naive commitment is a slippery slope so many people face and are saved from, Nina was not as lucky. Nina teaches us that the best performers die, the smart ones break a leg instead.

 

 

Man v. Man: The Villain

Now we move on to the villain. The Villain in movies is usually the most ambitious person in the film. They are trying to live out some principle standard envisioned by them and will do all sorts of bad shit to make that happen. The villain of all villains

Not him

Not him

Not her

But him 

That rights Anton the Don Chigurh from 2007’s No Country for Old Men by Javier Bardem. So, my prenty film snobs know why this man is unmatched. But that’s for another blog post. Let’s talk about why his ambitions spoiled. 

Anton is a hitman sent to retrieve a briefcase with money for the cartel. Anton does not get the chance right away however because of another savvy individual (Llewelyn Moss by Josh Brolin) in the desert. Makes off with the briefcase and now Anton has someone to hunt.

 

SERENDIPITY 2.4 MILLION DOLLARS INA BRIEFCASE

So Anton has two goals now to kill the individual that took the briefcase and … Get it back duh. 

If you want to know what a hero is made put them under pressure” 

 

In the worst way, Anton is the grim, stoic, alien adjacent, mad man, killer, persona. His character is relentless and feels no remorse for the people he kills. On top of that, Anton has an amazing threshold for pain. He survives a car accident and his ulna or radius (one of his forearm bones) is peaking out from his skin and he is able to limp away from the accident. Proceeds to kill nearly everyone that sees him. The only people he doesn’t kill are those who guess correctly in his coin flip. Anton will approach a victim ready to kill them, and he for whatever reason is compelled by the victim. He’ll tell them something like not all hope is lost, throwing the coin in the air he says “call it”. A correct call and he reasons that it is fate keeping them alive. Incorrect gives him the clear to finish what he started. 

Anton kills people, blows up a car, gets hit by a car, but ultimately he is unsuccessful and kills the widow of his original mark(Josh Brolin). Again I’ll say it, there is such a thing as having too much ambition. What makes a poison is a dose. Even though a character like Anton has no moral compass and only seems to understand killing. He is robbed of feeling any sympathy because he’s got shit to do. That is the exact problem his task completely dehumanizes him. He operates as if he is second and the task is first. 

Anton is completely void of any emotion. Except a few that hustle culture loves. 

Focus

Drive

Resilience

Grit

And 

Spoiled Ambition

 

 

Man v. Nature/Society: Corrupt Big Business

Polytetrafluoroethylene - Wikipedia

Polytetrafluoroethylene is a long chain chemical called Teflon. Formerly used to make cookware. These criminals (not actual criminals because they have enough money to stay in court forever, therefore they are never PrOvEn GuIlTy, the American justice system is a flop… anyways…) at Dupont manufactured the dangerous chemical knowing that it would harm people. In the movie Dark Waters, starring Mark Ruffalo as Robert Billot, a plaintiff lawyer who sues them for a farmer(William Tennant by Bill Camp) who knows Ruffalo’s grandmother in the film. Mr. Tennant has 190 cows die on his farm in West Virginia. His cows began to become aggressive, their teeth turned black, caused strange tumors, and a slew of other issues. His cows drank water from a stream contaminated with unregulated chemicals from the Dupont factory up the creek.

 

Dark Waters”, captivant film-enquête de Todd Haynes - Les Inrocks

Phil Donnelly’s played by Victor Garber character was an executive at the Dupont company at the time this film is set in. Phil gets out of character when Ruffalo asks him “what is PFOA?”. Next, the company intimidates all the local lawyers to prevent being sued. They never report to the EPA that the chemicals they were using were harmful resulting in the deformity of unborn children, the men working having a Teflon flu, blackening teeth, poisoning local water, testicular cancer, you name it. They did everything for as long as they could to keep it all secret. Because they were making too much money to stop. If they stop the cost of retributions outweighs the cost of knowingly harming the public. Their ambition spoiled like sour cream sitting in the sun at a tailgate BBQ.

No one defends the modest life anymore. There is constant competition, comparison, and  GrInD. But it’s all for nothing. Nobody is happy. We live in one of the loneliest times in history. All of our connections made electronically only drive us all further apart. Life shouldn’t just be a string of accomplishments. Ambition, in too high of a dose like anything, can be poisonous. However, a 9 to 5, with a small apartment, movies on Tuesday, in a Nissan, sometimes you cut your own hair… That’s something to defend. There’s nothing wrong with striving for more. In fact, you should pursue a better life and self-improvement, but the end does not justify the means. So however you find yourself on top remember you would not be a loser if you chose a modest life. 

Uncapped ambition will spoil things.

Special Thanks to my underpaid editor who doubles as my best friend. I love you Elizabeth.

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Concealed Currency

November 9th of 1993 Wutang Clan’s debut album “Enter the Wutang” better known as “36 chambers” was released and the landscape of music has changed forever since. If you know anything about Wu-Tang you know that RZA came up with the acronym C.R.E.A.M short for Cash Rules Everything Around Me. The hit single C.R.E.A.M song opens up and Raekwon skillfully greets us with an illustration of a very rugged world of “Shaolin” (Staten Island). Raekwon’s verse tells you everything that he doesn’t have on the surface but, the subtext tells you he has different types of currency that lead him to actual money.

Album Review: Wu-Tang Clan – Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) – LoudSound  Magazine

Performance Currency

Kobe Bryant Dunk GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

The ability to perform well at any task you commit to. This comes up when an employer looks at you and says “I have a perfect job for you”. The way to gain performance currency is to practice at something steadily. There is the 10000-hour rule floating around that some people rely on for a number of hours you’ll need of practice to be world-class. Reviewing your performance is another way. Taking a moment to access what can be done better in the future. What is not to be done in the future, and so forth. Practice and review are the key ways to keep acquiring performance currency and thus acquiring opportunities to grow. Another way to ensure a lot of performance currency is understanding what marks you have to meet to deliver on whatever is asked you. This can be setting goals for yourself, following the footsteps of a mentor, or something as small as a to-do list.

Resilience Currency

Is it worth the trouble? | Aesthetic gif, Sisyphus tattoo, Gif pictures

My life got no better, same damn ‘Lo sweater…

 This bar one can be summed up very shortly as keep going.  This is all about hours, days, and the time you put in. Whatever it is just keep showing up. Show up earlier and decrease the intervals when you’re not grinding at your craft. Don’t panic when things don’t work out the first time, the second time, the third time. Those times when you can only think of reasons to give up, keep f****** going. Eventually even if by accident you will collide with a breakthrough. But you have to create enough scenarios where you’re available to receive those sorts of epiphanies. Resilience is about forfeiting any external arrivals. It’s only you every day for a few hours, minutes. Show up every day and something will meet you there when you’re drenched in sweat and you haven’t slept. It will see your effort and show you it was all worth the wait. 

Adaptation Currency

Pokemon: Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur | Bulbasaur, Pokemon gif, Powerful  pokemon

“… Figured out I went the wrong route…”

Next for concealed currency is that story that you always hear about. Blockbuster had the chance to buy Netflix and passed on it. Blockbuster is now a dead brand. Blockbuster refused to change its sales model and then suffered greatly for it. “People will not stop renting movies” they were right but not about their movies. Meanwhile, Netflix has been valued at 145 billion as of June 2019. You need to keep your eyes open to the trends and how things will change because things will change! Keep your ear to the ground because being on a bandwagon is much better than being left behind. There is no need for an all-original model of something because quite frankly something never seen before is likely very disturbing. This is also about being fluid in your identity. Oftentimes HoOmAnS align themselves with an ideology so piously that anything that counters their ideology, counters them as an individual or in Blockbuster’s case a business. So it’s dangerous to be defined by ideologies because they are open to the interpretation of others. Stagnation is the primary ingredient of all curses. You are made to change, allow it.

 

 

 Relationship Currency 

Wu Tang's $2m Album Comes With A Bizarre Clause: The Rap Group – Or Bill  Murray – Are Entitled To Steal It Back In A Heist

“…Then I got with a with a sick a** clique and went all out

 Relationship currency is essentially, “it’s not what you know it’s who you know”.

You create this currency by treating people well. You don’t have to be a doormat, you just need to respect people. Consider their time when you enter a shared venture. Always try to be empathetic and allow people freedom. Good relations with people lead to opportunity. All you have to do is be decent. Some people believe that the road to wealth has to be lonely. But it doesn’t, in fact, surrounding yourself with people who are like-minded and share any ambitions is a way to seal your fate. Consider a romantic relationship, boyfriend, and girlfriend. Both parties need to respect themselves by establishing boundaries, expressing things that make them uncomfortable, and not being a doormat. They need to respect the boundaries of their partner as well; they cannot just demand things. Then both parties need to exchange a token of gratitude to their partner and that’s how you build relationship currency with anyone.

Actual Money 

Hundreds GIFs | TenorHundreds GIFs | Tenor

There is no such thing as money. Money is a fictional understanding in society representing value and security. It’s no coincidence that nobody ever knows how to fix the stock market. Being really preoccupied with money and wealth is not the way to acquire it. You can decide that anything is currency and see gains in it when you apply these methods. When someone performs well, has good relations, can be flexible, and is resilient to weather all possible storms. Inevitably you will have to work hard and have the discipline to reap its reward. You will find success in anything you persistently pursue, and you will find wealth as well. 

Pin on Classic Hip Hop

Now is a good time to get acquainted with a really good song. You’re Welcome.