The never-ending saga of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s divorce is at the moment the most annoying piece of media in your face right now. They are everywhere. Both of them have started openly dating other people to the public. Kanye is true to form by being an emotional terrorist to Kim Kardashian and his own family. But in combination with his love-bombing Kim and making direct threats to her new boyfriend Pete Davidson through his “art”. Kanye is creating a very fertile environment that can quickly escalate to violence. The worst part of all this is that Kanye’s actions are not unique. Women go through this situation all the time walking on eggshells, turned to hot coals out of unhappy relationships. Men absolutely lose their shit when women practice autonomy. Why don’t men see that when a woman makes a decision its more about her than their value as a man? Could it be because they make the mistake of equating women with property? Let’s think on that…
The Media’s Apathetic Messaging to Boys
Kanye West is one of the most powerful individuals in the world and even he can’t stay in the room and listen to his wife say shes going to wear the dress she likes and he can get over it. I’m paraphrasing but the point is that a woman making choices about what to do with her body and life should not cost men their self-esteem or their sense of security. Feminism is obviously the elephant in the room a woman should be able to choose what she does with her life at no consequence to men because we are advocating for EQUALITY here.
Women are in their fourth wave of feminism. Unlike other waves of feminism in the past, everyone on the internet is watching this wave unfold in real-time. Feminists have mobilized their movements digitally using social media to gain traction overnight. Movements like #Metoo, Body positivity, and advocating for the rights of Transwomen. All over the globe women are sharing their grievances with patriarchal society online and it’s resulting in real changes in the real world.
There is one important difference to note between men’s and women’s reactions to fourth-wave feminism.
Girls members of Genz and Millenials were marketed girl power like no tomorrow by the media in the 2000s and 2010s. Grooming them at every opportunity to be strong women. When girls watch a female hero they learn that they’re special and they struggle, while the media marketed towards young boys teach them that they struggle because their special. The media only mildly informs young male audiences all that girl power stuff is kicking into high gear. This distinction in media for boys encourages boys to feel sorry for themselves in the face of adversity. The role models they look up to demonstrate to young men that any struggle they have is because they’re SPECIAL.
Each of the girls in the image above has a problem to solve not directly related too or at the result of their special talent.
The men in each image overcome obstacles throughout the story solely because they’re special, most conflicts arise because of their special traits.
Perhaps the media expected another semi-passive wave of feminism, if any. Third-wave feminism is hard to characterize as anything other than before smartphones and after the 80s. In retrospect, fourth-wave feminism makes the media’s message to young men appear apathetic. Now, those same men and women are in the dating pool together with completely different worldviews on the most basic things and, more consequential, the place of the women. Although in some instances, women are closer to the traditional ideas of masculinity. Women are more educated, better groomed, starting businesses, and encouraging others to take control of their bodies. Men are left to consider a choice are they going to embrace some gender fluidity or are they going to be hyper-masculine to outdo other men and the growing number of women who are less traditionally feminine?
The question mark and mutable nature of masculinity in today’s discord creates the opportunity for certain personalities online to turn male insecurities into profit. Some of these individuals’ tactics are transparent and harmless if you have a pulse and decent eyesight. However, platforms like youtube, Facebook, and TikTok work by showing you what you may want to see, to keep you on the platform like a lab rat with a button for sugar water, and therefore consume more advertising. This has the potential to groom a young man into an extremely hateful person before they even realize that HE was taken advantage of. Because the influencer/commentators only wanted to sell you something by building a parasocial relationship. At the end of all of it is a grift. It’s about their mugs, ebook, online course, music career, twitch streams, the list is endless.
Welcome to Outrage Marketing 101:
The Consequences of Hyper Gender Roles
Hypermasculinity does harm to the individual by making it impossible for men to have shortcomings. The traditional man has to be emotionally stoic, financially provide for a family of four, perform all physically demanding tasks, be well educated. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a good man. The problem with this model of what a man should be is that it excludes a lot of already good men and makes them feel like they are only seen for their shortcomings. Everything in moderation is a popular cliche because it’s true. There are even dangerous outcomes that pair with hyper-femininity. Humor me for sec, even if you don’t watch the HBO smash hit series Euphoria, does this woman look well to you?
No fucking way Cassie is okay, bless her heart though.
Man taking advantage of male insecurity creates dangerous outcomes that exist in the 3D world.
This is Elliot Rodgers he stabbed 6 people in southern California back in 2014, posted a 141-page manifesto to the internet, and he shot himself in the head.
In 2020 Armando Hernandez Jr. went to the Westgate Entertainment District in Glendale Az and shot three people. He is a self-identified incel and it was reported that he was targeting romantic couples in particular.
In February 2021 Malik Sanchez the self-proclaimed incel and youtube streamer played a bomb hoax on restaurant-goers in Manhattan New York.
In April of 2018 in Toronto Canada, another self-identified Incel drove his rented van into pedestrians killing 10 and injuring 16 others.
While these events prove that the incel community can be a threat to others. They are more accurately the biggest threat to themselves. The incel community has a culture around suicide, members regularly joke about suicide and take their own lives. There are self-reports that the community is cathartic and allows men the chance to vent their frustrations with women not wanting them and the ideal alpha men who “gets all the girls”.
Suicide rates in the U.S. reported by the CDC for 2021 state that “Rates for males in age groups 10-14 and 25-34 increased by 13% and 5%…”.
The Real Villian to Masculinity
Masculinity can be defined as traits connected to manliness including but not limited to strength, authority, leadership, bravery, strategic reasoning, and so on. Men report that women and feminism have ruined everything.
How can men be strong when they live in food deserts, and only eat fast food?
How can men be strategically reasonable when the cost of higher education has risen out of reach for even the upper-middle class?
How can men be brave when they refuse to take the radical step and get mental health treatment when needed?
How can men be leaders when they don’t have the access to capital to buy a house, apply for a business loan, or if they are kept out of the workforce?
Society places these demands on the men and shut its mouth to the fact that the system has taken countless opportunities away from EVERYONE. Men’s anger and frustration with women are misguided. The conservative commentators I brought up before are more than happy to keep feminism as a conservative battleground because it distracts from the fact that the insecurity all men feel is at the heart of a capitalist system failing them.
Leave women alone! All this effort to understand why women aren’t having sex with insecure men. Because women don’t fucking have to, if they don’t want to. It’s that simple. The girl that doesn’t want to talk to you at the gas station, stood you up after a tinder match, stopped answering your texts after you poured your heart out to her, so fucking what. She does not owe you anything because you were nice to her. Basic kindness isn’t something you should use to get you into the pants of a woman.
The biggest irony is that if men weren’t so concerned with making women the villains and themselves the victim then they might get some. Women don’t care about any of the things that men think they do men are viewing the values of women through a male gaze. But from a female gaze most women care that a man is self-sufficient, and not an emotional tyrant. The bar is fucking low. Your niche hobby isn’t going to scare girls away, your beer belly isn’t going to, hair loss, none of it will.
Being a self-loathing asshole is what fulfills the incel’s deepest fear of dying alone and unloved.
Feminine Autonomy Isnt Going Anywhere
Human beings are complicated and nuanced. Women(try not to lose your mind when I say this) are human beings. Humans do things that offer momentary relief from an otherwise pointlessly excruciating existence. Now that women are the most autonomous they’ve ever been in history. That means there are more opportunities for half the population to have a life they enjoy. Men who embrace gender fluidity are having the most enjoyable experience. Just for reference Pete Davidson is not the male gaze’s idea of who should have dated Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grande, Kaia Gerber, etc.
Men have an opportunity to be emotionally available, get dangly earrings, a pedicure, be a stay-at-home dad and not less of a man in the eyes of women. Women do not exist to service men.
The reason girls wear bold makeup,
dance “provocatively” on the internet,
Choosing their careers instead of having children is for personal fulfillment.
Stop making it about men. The self-actualization of women has nothing to do with men or sex, it only has to do with HER.(Freud just rolled in his grave). As any regular Alpha male podcasting grifter will tell you men and women are wired differently. Because even when a man tries to put in me in my proverbial place my wired default goes like this: